Don’t Forget to Keep Your Sacred

Don't Forget to Keep Your Sacred

I grasped something beautiful the other day. But I lost it.

It had been one of those maddeningly-long days, full of never-screaming-but-also-never-ceasing frustrations, where you clench your eyes and your sanity just to keep from losing it all. Tensed, tired, and dusty, my only thoughts were water for my throat and shower, but on the way there I picked up my tablet. As the water whooshed and steam filled the air, I absent-mindedly turned on my music, hoping perhaps the notes could wash away the heaviness soap and water couldn’t reach.

Fortunately, the living Water is very skilled at doing just that.

Standing there, alone, open, bare; I was overcome. I worshiped. I was renewed. I rejoiced in Him, in praising His name. I returned to my room cleansed in more ways than one; and sat down to continue working on a post started long before, worship music still playing and working in my soul.

In a moment, overcome by Him, I stopped and wrote one of the deepest, most heartfelt, most vulnerable and overwhelmed bit to Him I have ever known.

“Have you felt it? This longing, overwhelming urge to know Him more, this rushing out of your heart to become closer to Him? You’ve had a taste of His love and want to become drunk on it, to know Him more, to have more of Him, just more of His word, just more of His presence, just more of His awesomeness, in the old sense of the word — that, that only is enough to satisfy and you crave it overwhelmingly.”

But — that’s not it.

The sad part is, that paragraph is not what I wrote. That’s only the gleanings, the faded colors of what I remember, the distant echoes of a powerful prayer. Because somehow, I lost it.

I did have something absolutely wonderful and powerful written up in the heat of worship, words which to me seemed to be echoes of the Psalmist. I wrote it in my “Blog ideas” draft on here, so that I wouldn’t lose it. But, somehow, when I returned to it a few minutes later, it was gone. Perhaps I accidently deleted it, cut it, or some other technical glitch. But whatever happened, I lost it.

Which really saddens me. But I wonder if perhaps it was for the best. Because as writers, as bloggers, sometimes we forget to keep things sacred. To keep things special. To keep things set apart.

We’re so pressed upon, so demanded of, to give value, to write beauty, to make worth. We tell ourselves that we must give our readers great theological truth — every single week. We schedule wisdom, encouragement, and inspiration on a daily basis. And not only do we require such things from ourselves all the time, but it must be different, it must be varied; we can’t just be learning one single thing for a whole month, how boring would that be!

But that’s hard. Because that’s not how we ourselves learn in our daily lives. Truth hardly ever comes in a flash of inspiration, in that bright lightbulb of yore. More often it seems to be a deepening, a slow growth, the darkness of night slowly turning to day. But when we demand newness from ourselves all the times, we turn to ransacking our own growth, spoiling our own sanctuary for goods.

I’ve gone back through old journals, looking for thoughts and prayers to convert into articles. I’ve listened to worship songs to see how I could use them in posts. I’ve watched the little ones around me to find analogies to use. And sometimes all of those can be troves of inspiration.

But when I do that recklessly, I rob them of their real worth. They lose their sacredness.

Because then I begin looking at every action of my brother as something to make a lesson out of, rather than a chance to delight in his contagious laugh, to wrestle around with him on the floor, to smell the scent of baby-hair as he sits on my lap reading a book. Then I start to look at worship songs as lyrics to twist to fit my own thoughts, rather than a place to come before the Holy One, realigning myself with Him. Then I start to write my journal like I know I will come back and use it in a post later, rather than using it to wrestle out my own faith, to document my own growth.

When everything is open to everyone, nothing there is really worth having.

When everything lays on the surface, nothing there is worth mining for.

Because our goal, as writers, as communicators, as inhabitants of this open-and-digital-show-everyone-what-I’m-doing-world, is never to be the best at showing everything. It’s to be the best at showing everyone love. Our job is not to share all our wisdom and thoughts. It’s to share the right wisdom and thoughts for the moment. It’s not to let everyone know how we’ve been grown this week. It’s to be grown by Him each and every week. We are not to build our houses, paint our pictures, serve our employees, or write our stories to be seen of men. We do it to please and be seen by Him.

There are some parts of us which we must keep back. Some things which are not for all the world. Some things which are solely for communion between you and God. Because those are the things that keep us grounded.

And none of this is to say stop sharing those things which are dear to your heart. Share your hard lessons, share your hard truths, share your struggles and victories, for they grow and encourage us! But have you not felt that sometimes in doing so we can distance ourselves from the very things which we ourselves are supposedly learning? There is balance in all things, including sharing intimate knowledge of our walks.

And so I’m glad I lost that paragraph of worship. Would I have liked to be able to go back to it and review the lesson in God’s greatness that He gave me a glimpse of? Sure, but I realize now that sitting available-to-my-blog as it was, it would have been artificially grown, extended to a blog post that was open to everyone.  And I think that was perhaps something sacred, something for me to learn for myself and not for every other eye to see.

Because the true holy things are those that are set apart.

 

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.  But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. (Matthew 6:5-6)

 

How do you as a writer or artist keep back some things for your own personal growth? One way I do so, is by committing to not publish what I write in my journals, to keep that for my memory alone. What are your tips and ideas? Let me know!

 

 

 

Advertisements

41 thoughts on “Don’t Forget to Keep Your Sacred

  1. Pingback: Vulnerability: The Pearl – Jordy Leigh

  2. Pingback: Learning the Hard Way – Jordy Leigh

  3. I so agree, Belle! I’ve been realizing recently that there are some things that are so personal I probably ought not to put them on the internet for the whole world to see — maybe someday, but then it must be with great caution. Sometimes, we bloggers can hurt others by being too open about our lives. Though of course being personable in writing is oftentimes a very good thing, and it usually serves to make the writing more interesting.
    And then the other thing, the “blog-colored glasses” (I’m going to have to steal from Esther, too :)) — now that can become a real problem! When I’m struggling with something, I’ll realize that I’m typing out a post in my head about it (and I may even feel my fingers typing it on an imaginary keyboard). Of course, this can help to remind me of the truth as I dig into Scripture in my mind, but really, it’s probably just going to end up distorting my view of the situation. I’ll probably see my circumstances as being a much bigger deal than they actually are.
    Okay, that was a bit too long (and late). 🙂 Thanks for your post! I can definitely relate.

    Like

  4. Beautiful thoughts, Belle. Thank you for writing this. So often, I feel like I have to have something deep and hard from my own life to be worthy to post on my blog. You’ve inspired me to keep my sacred. 🙂

    Like

  5. Thanks for writing this. 🙂 As someone who wants to write songs and music, I should be aware of this as well. The things I write in my journal should not be what I write for the world to hear. Thanks again, so much.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I think this is something to keep in mind for all us artists, whether we paint with words or music! (Or paint) And this isn’t to say never use things out of your journal, just make sure to commit some things as set apart. Thank you and if I haven’t said it before, welcome to Seeing Everything Else!

      Like

  6. Pingback: Reblogged: Don’t Forget to Keep Your Sacred – Jordy Leigh

  7. Belle, this is absolutely gorgeous. Oh my goodness, I’m speechless, and to be honest, this is EXACTLY what I’ve been feeling with my own writing now.

    Blogging for me became simply churning out words, mixed with Bible verses and a dash of eloquence. It became reflections of what I was learning in my own time with the Lord, but putting it all out there for the world to see, it felt slightly ingenuine, forced, something it wasn’t ever supposed to be.

    Thank you for sharing this. I can relate so, so much — and honestly, that’s one reason I’ve been blogging much less lately – I want to do it well, to do justice to the beautiful and sacred truths of God, and not insert myself too much in there, where it isn’t appropriate.

    Anyway, all that to say, you’re doing so well with this, and I’m so glad we connected. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! *hugs*
      Yes, yes, yes, exactly! I’m glad He can use us to help each other with the lesson He’s teaching both of us right now! To do justice to His beautiful and sacred truths — let that be our prayer every day. Not to make posts just because we’re ‘supposed to.’
      I very much considered and prayed about taking a hiatus for a little while, but God’s given several opportunities and thoughts to share, so perhaps I simply need to refocus and remind myself. I pray that He refreshes and emboldens you as you seek to serve Him better, giving your pen (or keyboard) speed, and your thoughts clarity!
      Thank you for always being so encouraging, and I’m so very glad to have met you too!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. “Then I start to write my journal like I know I will come back and use it in a post later, rather than using it to wrestle out my own faith, to document my own growth.” – The accuracy of this statement! I relate sooo much! Actually, I’m on a blogging hiatus over the month of April, but more than ever I want to record all the things I feel God teaching me so that I can share them when I come back fresh. This post was such a wake-up call to me! I’m not sure yet how I’ll put it into practice; whether or not I will completely refrain from sharing *anything* that comes from my journal. Thankfully I have time to seek God in the matter before I get back to blogging. Thank you so much for sharing, Belle!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, those times off can be such a time of refreshment and re-focusing! And none of this is at all to say not to sometimes blog from your journal, we all have different ways and different methods we use, just to be sure to save some things for you and God! (Honestly I do publish some things from my journal, but they’re under the “Blog ideas/rantings” section I made for myself in there, since sometimes inspiration comes in the middle of the night and there is no computer to be found! :D)
      Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, and welcome to Seeing Everything Else!

      Like

  9. Wow, this is something I really needed to hear, and it is so beautifully written. I agree so much, though I didn’t realize it until you put it into words like this! When I think of thoughts about God as something to be posted, it sometimes becomes more about how it will sound to people rather than the thoughts itself. Thank you so much for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is exactly what I have been learning and thinking about lately. I listen to sermons and look at lives with my “blog-colored glasses”, trying to think how I could make it into a post; but then I lose its real value and worth and meaning – and its application in my own life. Thanks for sharing this, Belle, it helped a lot. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow. This is such an important post. I had experienced this before but never thought about it, never thought to put a name to it. I’m the sort of person who writes very personally, and have had to start learning when personal is too personal. When it is something best not shared, or should not be shared yet, or with that particular person or group of people. Thank you so much for this post. I needed it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Wow, there is so much truth in this post. For me, I never use journal entries as blog posts, just because they tend to be way too messy and weird for that. And it is freeing to have that space where you can write down all your thoughts and know that no one’s ever going to read them. But yeah, knowing how much to share with the rest of the world can be difficult, especially since I tend to express myself much better writing than speaking, anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, freeing! (that was the word I couldn’t seem to find in here :D) I’ve been learning lately that sometimes in seeking to be “authentic and open” I simply fake a new façade to put forward. But when I try to take that persona into my time with God… I need to strip it all away and be honest before Him!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Wow, that’s so interesting! I’ve just started a blog, so I don’t really know a lot about this, but I like to write songs from my heart to God, and they seem to be so much more real when I write them not planning to share.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! When the pressure is off to perform, to prepare it for others, the burden of responsibility is off and it’s easier to just commune with Him! (even when sometimes He does put on our hearts to share with others later!)
      I pray your start into this lovely world of blogging is wonderful, and that you are encouraged by this community of other writers seeking to know Him!

      Like

  14. Thank you so much for writing this! I’m a brand new blogger but I know it can be hard to know how much to show. 🙂 I’m always so blessed by what you write! Thanks for showing God’s love!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, and welcome to Seeing Everything Else and the blogosphere! (that’s a word, right? I’m going to pretend it is)
      Honestly this post is coming out of me being about a year into my writing journey, getting a little burnt out, and refocusing myself on what’s very important. So, yes, make sure you reserve some sacred for yourself, but also don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, to write what scares you, to open up the wrestling, broken, authentic parts of you to show God’s greatness and grace. Because both are important. I’ve been learning lately that life is more like a balance, and dancing of extremes than one simple thing. But that’s what makes it beautiful. 🙂
      Your blog is lovely, and I look forward to what you both will share and write in the future!

      Like

  15. Amen to this entire post, especially this line: “Truth hardly ever comes in a flash of inspiration, in that bright lightbulb of yore. More often it seems to be a deepening, a slow growth, the darkness of night slowly turning to day.” ❤

    Liked by 1 person

Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s